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Spoon Theory is a metaphor used describe the limited energy people with chronic illness or mental health concerns often have.
For neurodivergent people (including those with ADHD), the number of spoons you start with and how quickly they run out can vary a lot from day to day.
ADHD doesn’t just affect attention. it also impacts executive functioning, energy regulation, and motivation. That means:
1. Tasks use more spoons: even “simple” things like paying bills, doing laundry, or answering emails can take extra mental effort because of planning, decision fatigue, or overwhelm.
So someone with ADHD might use up more spoons faster than others.
2. Spoon count changes daily: some days you might wake up feeling ready to take on everything (hyperfocus mode!), and other days, even basic self-care feels impossible.
ADHD energy levels fluctuate, it’s not laziness or inconsistency, it is literally brain chemistry.
3. Rest doesn’t always refill spoons: because ADHD brains can struggle with sleep regulation and switching off, “rest” doesn’t always feel restorative.
That can make recovery slower or inconsistent.
4. Emotional regulation costs spoons: masking, managing rejection sensitivity, or dealing with overstimulation all take invisible spoons.
Emotional labor can quietly drain energy reserves, even before “real tasks” begin.
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Using Spoon Theory to Support Yourself:
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Want more support?
Late Diagnosis ADHD Club: Join my FREE community for women with a late diagnosis who are looking to connect with others who just get it.
Groups for ADHD: I also offer virtual 8 week groups! Get information for my next group offerings here.
Resources for ADHD: I have a library of mental health resources and a section just for ADHD and Women with a Late Diagnosis!
Are you a therapist? I offer supervision and consulting for therapists as well as The Therapist Toolbox Resource Library for other providers.
When you have ADHD, procrastination is often highly misunderstood. It’s rarely avoidance, laziness, or lack of motivation. Many people with ADHD want to start earlier, but struggle to access the mental energy needed to begin.
The issue is often task initiation, not intention. As I shared a few week’s ago in the post all about Task Initiation, ADHD brains are interest-based. Tasks that feel boring, repetitive, overwhelming, unclear, or emotionally loaded can be hard to start.
Then suddenly, when the deadline gets closer, urgency kicks in and the brain finally starts to activates. Often intensely.
There’s a very specific kind of frustration that comes with ADHD and executive dysfunction.
It’s not just about being distracted or forgetful.
It’s the experience of knowing what needs to be done…and feeling completely unable to follow through.
Not because you don’t care. Not because you’re not trying.
Just… stuck in the gap between intention and action.
From the outside, it can look like laziness, inconsistency, or a lack of discipline.
But internally? It often feels like your brain won’t cooperate with you.
One of the most common things I hear from adults with ADHD, especially women and late-diagnosed folks, isn’t about focus or productivity.
It’s this:
“I feel misunderstood all the time.”
And not in a loud, dramatic way.
In a quiet, accumulating way.
The kind that settles into your nervous system and slowly teaches you not to trust yourself or to minimize your intuition and needs.
For many people, receiving an ADHD diagnosis later in life comes with a wave of relief.
Finally, there’s an explanation. Finally, things make sense.
But relief is often only part of the story.
What doesn’t get talked about enough is the grief that follows — quiet, heavy, and sometimes unexpected. Late-diagnosis ADHD grief isn’t dramatic or indulgent. It’s a normal response to understanding your life through a new lens.
And it deserves space.
Personal reflections as a therapist who received a late ADHD diagnosis.
Rejection sensitivity can make even small moments feel overwhelming. This post explores what it looks like, why it shows up (especially for those with ADHD), and how to work with your brain instead of against it when emotions feel like too much.
Group therapy offers more than just support—it provides connection, perspective, and community. Whether you're navigating a new diagnosis, identity shift, or season of overwhelm, this post explores how group spaces can help you feel seen, supported, and less alone.
For years, I blamed myself for being "scattered" or “bad at adulting.” I thought if I just tried harder, I’d finally get it together. But what I didn’t realize was that I was struggling with executive dysfunction—something that impacts nearly every part of life for people with ADHD. In this blog, I’m sharing my own experience with a late ADHD diagnosis and unpacking why struggles with focus, time, and task initiation aren’t signs of laziness—they’re signs you might need support.
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