ADHD, Spirituality, & Intuition: Learning to Trust Yourself Again

The desire to write this post comes from my own story and own experience as someone who didn’t know they had ADHD until they were 33. Which meant for the first 33 years of my life, I masked and didn’t show many of the parts of me that felt “too much” or “not enough”, because somewhere I learned the “right” way to respond.

I grew up in a kind and loving family, so let me clarify that first. I believe that most parents are doing the best they can with what they have and that even with the best intentions, harm can be done when they have their own unaddressed trauma and children who are highly sensitive, attuned, and not diagnosed yet. 

So my story starts with that context. As long as I can remember, I felt and perceived everything around me. Fun fact, the average human with ADHD filters through up to 8x the information that someone who is neurotypical does in a day.

That can show up as feeling everything around you. The energy someone was holding in, I could sense it. The pain someone held in their body, I could feel it too. The passing judgmental glance someone else might have missed, repeated in my mind. I could zoom out and watch the world and relationships happen around me and it was also super confusing and overwhelming for a child.

While there was pressure to be “good” or “well behaved”, it wasn’t always said explicitly, often implied. “Don’t say the weird thing.” “Please just behave like the other kids.” “Don’t be rude to xyz person.” And the thing is that I couldn’t tell you why I didn’t like xyz person, my entire being just knew I didn’t want to be around them.

As a child, my intuition often felt like a sword or arrow, very direct and clear, but after being told I “couldn’t do that” or “that wasn’t okay to say”, I had to bury it. Just like each of us does, we often bury the parts of ourselves that we perceive keep us from being safe or loved by others. Burying my intuition was self-abandonment in part, but it was also survival. It was how I had to stay safe enough and not be “too much”.

When I left home for college, I felt like a live nerve. What do you mean I could do whatever I wanted? What do you mean nobody was there to judge it? Well, I guess inherently someone is always judging, but at least an adult wasn’t telling me what I could/couldn’t do. And that was a hard time for me, because I felt so wobbly after years of masking my knowing and wasn’t even sure what my intuition was telling me. In those years, it was often less about reconnecting with my intuition and in fact just spending time being free and pretty reckless.

When I attempted to reconnect with my own knowing and intuition, I realized that so much of what I was doing didn’t actually align with what I valued or what mattered to me, but that I had instead been more of a chameleon and absorbed what I thought others wanted me to be. Slowly over time, I began to peel those layers off. Through my own therapy, and ADHD diagnosis, understanding myself, genuine relationships, reiki and energy work, and just existing in the world as a more confident human, I found that intuition again.

As things began to align and “click into place”, I realized that the version of me that I am now in this moment, is really who I was all along. She got a little lost or detoured if you will, but she was never gone. Without rules or restrictions, she could be free again, to find her own way and make sense of her knowing and that is when I regained my own power. The power that had been there since I was a little girl. The spiritual and intuitive parts of myself who thrived in outdoors and connection to nature and higher power/the universe god, before someone told her there was a wrong or right way to do it.

With that in mind, here are some of my thoughts on how our intuition is so clear as we enter life and how it shifts as we begin to separate from ourselves.

For many women, a late (or really any) ADHD/AuDHD/autism diagnosis doesn’t just change how they understand their brain, it changes how they understand themselves and often explains years of feeling different. Of noticing things other people didn’t. Of feeling emotions deeply. Of sensing tension in a room before anyone else acknowledged it. Of carrying a quiet knowing that they learned to dismiss because they were told they were “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” or “reading into things.” And somewhere along the way, many of those highly intuitive and sensitive and brilliant women stop trusting themselves.

That’s one reason why conversations about intuition and spirituality often resonate so deeply with women after diagnosis. Being neurodivergent doesn’t make you inherently clairvoyant, but healing often involves remembering how to listen to yourself again and lowing down to do that often reveals the depth of our soul and being we had to bury to survive.

If the idea of intuition is newer to you, here is a quick overview:

Intuition is often described as the ability to know something without consciously reasoning through every step. From a psychological/mental health perspective, intuition is our brain rapidly integrating countless experiences, observations, emotions, memories, and subtle environmental cues outside of conscious awareness.

Spiritually, many people experience intuition as something deeper, often a sense of inner wisdom, guidance, connection, or discernment that helps them navigate life.

Whether you understand intuition through neuroscience, spirituality, or both, the fact that intuition requires enough internal safety to hear yourself remains true.

Recently I have been processing the idea of true intuition vs. anxiety. One of the questions I hear most from my clients is: “How do I know if it’s intuition or anxiety?”

While there isn’t a perfect formula, here are some important differences you can become aware of.

Anxiety tends to sound urgent and even unkind at times.

• “You need to decide right now.”
• “Something bad is about to happen.”
• “You have to fix this immediately.”
• “What if...”

Intuition often feels different: it is more quiet, ground, and less combative. It doesn’t usually require panic to convince you.

Instead, it often sounds like:

• “This doesn’t feel right.”
• “Maybe slow down.”
• “This relationship isn’t aligned anymore.”
• “You already know the answer.”

Intuition doesn’t always feel comfortable, but it usually feels very directed and clear and not wobbly.

Regardless of your relationship with your neurodivergence and intuition/trusting yourself, there is always a path back home. For me, that path has looked like a spiritual journey (and no, this doesn’t mean organized religion, but it might for you) that included many small ways to re-connect to myself.

That might look like:

• Meditation
• Prayer
• Spending time in nature
• Breathwork
• Journaling
• Tarot or oracle cards as reflective tools
• Somatic practices
• Mindful movement
• Quiet moments without constant stimulation

These practices don’t create some type of magical intuition, but they create enough stillness to notice what has been there all along. And stillness is something we often avoid.

Something we don’t often consider is how our intuition is far easier to access when our nervous system feels regulated. When we’re overwhelmed, dysregulated, or operating in survival mode, our brains naturally prioritize detecting threats.

Everything begins to feel urgent and we get stuck in the trap where everything feels equally important. As our nervous system can settle further into a place of peace and safety, it becomes easier to notice the subtle difference between fear and wisdom.

This is one reason why somatic work can be so powerful, because when we reconnect with our bodies, we begin reconnecting with ourselves.

One of the things I love most about working with women with ADHD is watching them discover that curiosity can hold two truths at once.

You can appreciate science while remaining spiritually curious.

You can understand executive functioning and still believe your body carries wisdom.

You can value research and still practice discernment.

You don’t have to abandon evidence to embrace intuition.

And you don’t have to abandon intuition to honor science.

Sometimes healing happens in the space where both are welcomed.

Perhaps that’s what many late ADHD diagnoses are really about, not simply understanding your brain, but rebuilding your relationship with yourself.

Learning to trust your experiences and listening to your body again.

Recognizing that your sensitivity isn’t always something to fix, sometimes it’s something to simply observe and honor.

Coming home to yourself doesn’t mean that your intuition will give you all the answers and things will be easier, but when you cultivate a relationship with yourself that feels safe enough to hear your voice again real change happens.

After years of masking, that might be one of the most healing practices of all.

Want more? Let’s connect!

Join my upcoming group: Chaos to Compassion for women with ADHD . 

Work with me: I offer virtual counseling in NC and SC as well as neurodivergent coaching support to those outside of NC & SC.

Email: rachel@racheltenny.com for more information.

Resources for ADHD: I have a library of mental health resources and a section just for ADHD and Women with a Late Diagnosis!

Are you a therapist? I offer supervision and consulting for therapists as well as The Therapist Toolbox Resource Library for other providers.