6 Phrases to Help Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries can be a HUGE struggle for lots of folks! I talk to my clients about their barriers to setting barriers a lot and one of the most common things I hear is, "I don't know where to start!"
Boundaries help us differentiate between ourselves and others. They keep us safe, both physically and emotionally and provide the necessary structure that allows us to engage in the world around us. Without boundaries, we are more susceptible to both intentional and unintentional harm from others. We are more likely to feel misunderstood or taken advantage of. Sometimes it feels like a lot of extra work to set boundaries, however it can save us a lot of time and energy in the long run when we set our boundaries up front.
Here are some signs it may be time to set boundaries:
1. You feel resentful or taken advantage of
2. You notice yourself wanting to avoid the person you want to set boundaries with
3. You find yourself unable to focus, pre-occupied with other relationships or situations
4. You feel drained or lacking emotional energy
Here are some of my favorite simple ways to set boundaries that you can easily implement into your life.
1. "I don't feel comfortable with..."
2. "In order to protect my mental health, I need..."
3. I know you think that's "just a joke," but it's not funny to me...
4. "I'm not able to do that"...
5. "I am not willing to talk about this any longer..."
6. Or just keep it very simple and go with..."No thanks!"
Want more?
If you need more guidance on how to set boundaries, I want to help!
Here are a few of the resources I have created that can help you start setting boundaries!
1. Boundary Setting Workbook & Guide
2. Affirmations for Boundaries
Want more support? I am accepting therapy clients in Charlotte, NC as well as virtually in NC and SC.
I also offer virtual and in person groups for individuals in NC and SC, so make sure you check those out too!
Are you a therapist? I offer supervision and consulting for therapists as well as The Therapist Toolbox Resource Library for other providers.
I share practical ideas and techniques over on Instagram at @sometimesatherapist.
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